THE AUTHORISED RAPER

‘RAPE’, is a noun and a verb, pronounced as reɪp, which means to force someone to have sex when he or she is unwilling. We can define it in 3 words as “killing someone’s soul.” We can represent it in 2 words as “forced sex”. We can also illustrate it in 1 word as a “crime”. But here we are not talking about the criminal who committed crime. We are talking about those who think that their wives are their personal  property.

Are you thinking about what is the connection between rape and marriage? Have you ever heard of ‘marital rape’? Isn’t that sounds stupid… How can a husband rape his own wife? 

Today my friend called me and said that” I want you to write an article. I replied,”what happened” as her voice crying in the wilderness. She started crying. But why? Why is she crying? Her husband is loyal, caring, handsome and rich. She don’t have any reason to cry. But it was all according to me, not according to her. Her actual state was something else. Then she used a sentence,”my husband had been repeatedly rapping her since years.” What????                                                      I didn’t know what she was talking about. Then after taking a pause and a long breath, I understood her condition. The ‘defaulter’ was not only her husband but her family and herself too. Are you thinking how? Our parents have been teaching us how to be a ideal wife, which includes always give priority to your husband, never deny him for anything, his happiness is your happiness and accept everything related to him. Rather then teaching us this, they should have told us about ourselves, our feeling, or dreams, out desires, self-respect, etc. This is true that life is all about compromise and adaptation but it doesn’t mean ‘every time’. You don’t have to suffer every time. However, we do whatever our husbands want us to do. We say whatever our husbands want us to say. We perform every task of our life according to them. And over this, he says that he loves you. What kind of love he does if he can’t feel your pain and can’t analyse your problems. If he gives her food, shelter, and money for his own house then she is his slave. She can’t say “NO”. She has to do it. She doesn’t have any other option.

Ladies if you hurt him once then he will hurt you twice and he has been hurting you since years then why are you so quite? 

 Dear man, don’t ruin your relationship. Marital rape is much more complicated then rape. Rape is just a rape. There you have all the rights to raise your voice against the criminal but in marital rape, you don’t have this right. Here, you know that your criminal is your husband and you can’t register a FIR against him. The worst part is that you know he will be wild with you at night. Plus, you have to wake up next morning and make your rapist a toast. But not only this, you have to pretend like everything is normal. You have to pretend like you are fine in front of your parents. You know that your criminal is here; standing just in front of your refrigerator but you can’t do anything with him. You can’t say to the police that, “officers, the father of my kids, the man who promised me that he will always take care of me is my criminal. He raped me. Arrest him.”                                                                                   here’s the story ends.

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Illusionary angle 

It is really hard to bear that much of love which you have never experienced. When I saw him first time, I was in sweet pain of love. He was the only thing which had charismatic aura. In that room, he was like a crystal with no impurities. He was in the single towel and looked at me like a bright sharp ray of light. 

I tried to move but it felt as if my body were tied down by invisible threads. His body was much more thinner, lighter and softer than me. When I placed my hand on his chest, I felt his ribs under that soft skin. Further, I laid him down on the bed. Furthermore, My hands felt the warmth of his pelvic region. It was deep, warm and very wet. By moving my butt, I came more closer to him. I tried to envelop him, to draw him in, and the same time to press him out. I tried to spread his legs wider but I was afraid because I didn’t want to hurt him as he was touching someone first time in his life.

 I settled his feet on my face just to kiss his sole and to made him feel those tickling sensations which I was feeling.I rubbed his buttock. My pelvis rose from the bed when he placed his hand on my breast. I couldn’t believe that I feed that hungry little lion. I was tired and sore but I didn’t care. I didn’t want to sleep. I wanted to ache more. I wanted his sweat to drop into me and wanted to drop mine on him. There was no end to it. There was no end to the new things. In the end, he released all his warm secretions from his body into my body.

We were completely naked. Then the doctor came and took him from my hand. The train of my tears was ready to came out from the platform of eyelids. I couldn’t believe that I was experiencing the tears of happiness. I gave birth to my first baby.

Please, help yourself in enhancing the quality of your thoughts. Don’t judge people in your own way. Don’t see their life according to your level of problems and experience. Don’t apply your dirty rules and desires on others lives.There are many more things which we don’t know about others. We never come to know about the conditions and situation of others. 

People do mistakes. People learn. People grow up. People change. Don’t judge them by their past because you are neither judge not god. 

Immortal love

DAY 1

“Oh god!! Intuitions are so dangerous. They are insane and they also make us insane just like them. Even in this calm and peaceful ambience, I am having intuitions that he is about to leave this world. How is this even possible? He can’t die alone.

I don’t even have words to explain his love for me. I can still feel those thousand kisses on my face which he gave to me. But what the bloody hell is going on in my mind ? why I am thinking about his death? However, I know that he is not gonna leave me even after death.

“Ahhhhhhhhhh!!! I can’t help my thought process.”

DAY 2

It is around 8 in the morning. He is trying to wake me up with a rose in his hand. Is he crazy?  Everyday he gives me a rose from the day I told him that I love red roses. Isn’t he has any other way to start a morning?  ” Oh my god! Not again. I don’t know how to control these stupid intuitions.

It is 10 in the night. “He never takes any responsibility. He don’t even have time to call me and tell me the bloody reason that why he is late again.” Now who is on the phone? “Hello! Yes. what?” My body become blue. My hands are not able to hold the phone. My body and everything in the environment is still except my tears. “He can’t die. He can’t leave me behind.” These words and tears occupied my whole night.

DAY 3 

8’o clock (morning) 

Knock! knock!

When I opened the door, I was astonished by seeing that there is a florist with a rose. I asked him, “what the hell are you doing here?” He replied,” ma’am, I heard about the sir that he passed away. But before he died, he paid me in advance to send you roses for the rest of your life.

Oh Lord! I bend my knees in front of my love. We were designed to really know each other later on in life. 

There are nights I cry so hard that my body aches and I shake and I have to put my head in my pillow so no one hears me.

There are also nights I’m happy that you are happy and think everything happens for a reason

There are also nights where I feel nothing at all. But there is never a night that you don’t cross my mind.

We touched each other’s soul miraculously. My life is not bad now. Just different. His love is always with me in the form of roses or his memories. I am not alone.

contemplating the writing spirit 

Anything can happen in life, especially nothing. After making a mistake of picking up an quarrel with my friends, I packed my bag and reached at the nearest CCD.  I ordered some cool stuff totally filled with the chocolate just to bring me back to the normal state. Actually, I don’t have any normal state. I always behave like dying for unusual things and a person with lots of psychosis. A very charming and handsome guy is sitting just in front of me and he is continuously staring at me like I am writing about the sex life of his sister. Anyway, fuck him. Right now my full focus is on writing. 

This cool and quite ambience is screaming at me to write something. But why? Why do I write whenever i am in stress? Maybe I don’t even have a single person with whom I can share my charismatic stories. But initially, it’s a better thing because I am no longer dependent on human beings. Notebooks are my friends from now onwards. They are the best because they never reveals your secrets, they never expect or complaint about anything. These are not like other dumb people who break your heart and then leave you all alone again in the hole of nothing but your problems and regret.

So guys and girls, let’s fall in love once again with your family and the beautiful world because the graphite of your pencil is staring at you to let him out of the pencil. Remember that graphite loves paper not pencil.

According to me, writing doesn’t requires a number of things. It just requires a kind of intense introversion: observing, typing and retyping. I never used to write but now I have become addicted to it because it’s like a stress buster to me. It helps me in reading my own mind. It makes me more conscious and helps me to grab the island of the solution  situated in middle of the huge ocean of problems.

Drink healthy, eat healthy, write healthy and don’t even think about what to write and how to write because people with nothing to declare carry the most. 

How?

How?

Oh! This heavy weight my Lord!
my head is getting cold,
need more and more smoke,
trying to break his wall,
but i failed every time.

Not above him,
not below him,
not outside him,
not inside him,
not in imaginary,
not in reality,
then where am i in his world?

How i am waiting for him?
If he is nowhere at all.
How i am trying to tear myself down?,
to let me fall at the unreachable point.
How to break his curse?
This sunshine makes me blind.
How i am begging to myself?,
to let him go or i am trying to let him down?
How i am hiding myself?
But, why?
What’s the need?
How i am too quite?
Do i have nothing to speak
or wanna speak billions of words at the same time?
How i am doing this all?

An unknown acquaintance

During teenage years, I used to observe an introvert girl. One day she locked herself in the room and started crying so badly that her mother asked “what happened?”. She also instructed her not to lie as she sensed her pain. Her mother’s eyes were also filled with tears and pain by noticing her princess’ in a disturbing situation. She replied, “I can’t help my crying, mom. Crying is how our body speaks when your mouth can’t explain the pain you feel. It was also conspicious that it was more consequential stupidity, of course, but still amazed that how openly she described her problems and heart broken. Nothing made her “feel better” at that time. In between this cocktail of emptiness and confusion and rage over the nature, she turned herself into a paranoid and disturbed person. However, beneath all the dogmatic intolerance, I guess, in general, we prefer to love rather than hate. 

After making a huge consultation with herself only, she came to know that whenever you get a kick, it pushes you or it make you fall two steps ahead,not behind.

As the day passed, she started talking to herself by standing in front of the mirror and that was the only thing which brought her back to the normal state of wellbeing because she stopped lying to herself and threw away all those delusions, myths and tantrums about life. After being her own psychiatrist, she came to know that desiring a thing can’t make you have it. She begun escalating herself to a new platform of life.

One day, I was reading an article and I saw that suddenly she started a conversation with herself. “Experiencing heartbreak was the excellent thing to ever happened to me. After loosing everything, I introduced myself with the peace and tranquility and now this is the only thing i have” she said. In addition, “I was diverting all of my energy towards useless things. I don’t know how many times i have cried like an infant during this journey. But, whenever i saw my family standing behind me, I started smiling to myself that what i have been doing with myself and now have kicked out all those problems and people from my life who scrolled me down to the hell”, she added. That girl was me. I was the one who was following me. Even more impressively, only my shadow was observing me each and every second of my life.

Nobody can change your way of perception, only you have this power in your hand because you know your colours the best so glow in your own light and leave behind the rest.

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